(Now written at age 45)
Dear Little One,
I see your smile in that picture. You do not even realize how much light is in you, even though the world around you feels heavy. You do not know it yet, but that joy you carry is not something you created on your own. That is God’s hand resting on you, even when you did not know His name or understand His ways.
Life does not feel simple where you are. Love is not always given the right way. People who should know how to care for themselves and for you do not always get it right. But hear this: God is not absent. He is already teaching you how to see beyond words, to listen past actions, and to notice what lies underneath. Those lessons you think are survival are the seeds of discernment that God Himself planted in you.
You will grow up learning how to be invisible, how to protect yourself, how to read the room before you step into it. That may feel like loneliness now, but one day you will understand that God was training you, training you to lean on Him, training you to see what others cannot see, training you to become someone who can love with truth, patience, and depth.
You may wonder why family feels so broken, why fathers and mothers seem missing in your story. But you are never fatherless. You are never motherless. God Himself is raising you. He is holding you in the shadows, whispering peace to your young heart, and giving you joy that cannot be stolen, even on the darkest days.
At age 11, you will invite Jesus into your heart. You will not fully understand what that means yet, but the Holy Spirit will become your steady companion, guiding you with a language beyond words. He will protect you when you do not even realize you need protecting. And as the years pass, when trials, sickness, and disappointments come, God will use them not to crush you, but to reshape you into who He always intended you to be.
Here is something you could not possibly know as a child: long before you were born, long before you took your first step or prayed your first prayer, Jesus prayed your name while He hung on the cross. When He interceded for all who would come to believe, He was carrying you in His heart (John 17). That was the prayer of all prayers, and your life has been held in that prayer ever since.
You will discover this truth slowly, but deeply: peace is not the absence of storms, peace is the presence of God in the storm. You will learn how to forgive, how to love, and how to walk in a strength that is not yours, but His.
If I could tell you just one thing, it would be this:
Always keep your eyes on Jesus. He will be your Father when you feel fatherless, your Mother when you feel motherless, your Friend when you feel unseen, and your Husband when you feel alone. He is enough.
So do not live in fear. Do not let your thoughts run wild with “what ifs.” You have a sound mind, not because of your strength, but because of His Spirit. Remember what He says: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
You are going to lose people. You are going to face moments you do not think you can handle. But you will also meet incredible people, see breathtaking things, and experience love in ways you never imagined. Through it all, God will remain faithful.
So little one, keep smiling. Keep holding on to joy. Keep trusting that even when you do not know the way, your path is guided by Someone greater than this world.
It will be okay.
Love,
Yourself at 45 – but more importantly, a child still carried by God.